I have been sitting here for the past hour think of how to write this post.
Today marks the 5 years of when we found out Reagan was no longer with us and it has been 5 long years of wondering and remembering.
Where to Start
You see, I am a father of six children, and claim we are a family of eight; which includes Reagan.
Some people find that a little odd, but when you come across parents that have lost a baby due to miscarriage, well, they understand.
![Reagan sonogram 6 weeks](https://stacisalazar.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/reagan_-sono0001.jpg)
This is a message for Reagan.
Today’s story has been 5 years in the making and is a story of love and hurt.
Many of you may know that our family lost a part of us back in March of 2008. Our baby, Reagan, was called home early—before we could meet face to face.
As a spouse, parent, family member and/or friend, it is difficult to lose someone close to you. So, if you don’t mind, please let me speak through this blog to Reagan and reflect on the past 5 years.
For Reagan
Hey, Baby Girl,
It’s me, your Daddy.
Hi! I hope you are okay and playing up a storm; not getting into any trouble.
I want you to know that we think about you and pray for you all the time. It make me sad to think that I was never able to look into your eyes, hold your little hand, or have you sleep on my chest when you were a little baby.
I wish you were here to play hide-n-seek or peek-a-boo.
I’m sure, just like your sisters, you would love to dress up and put make up on. Oh, you would look so pretty!
I can only imagine everything you are and what you could be.
I wish you were here because I can’t convey the words of a hug or a kiss on the cheek. All I know how to do is love and play.
I look forward to playing with you in heaven one day. But, for now, I will continue to love you.
Know that I am sending hugs and kisses your way every day that I breathe.
Please remember, we love and miss you.
Love you,
Daddy
Please let this be my disclaimer that I am not an accomplished writer or blogger, but I am a father that wants to love on all his children.
Thank you for reading my message for Reagan.
![you never arrived in my arms,](https://stacisalazar.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/you-never-arrived-in-my-arms.jpg)
The kids like to release the balloons towards the back field and watch them as they go high into the clouds to their sister in heaven.