sister dog pile at hotel on mothers day 2021

This morning, while waiting on Mommy, this silly lipstick-stained girl asked me a question that sent my emotions soaring.

Out of nowhere, she asked me,

“Ma, do you miss your family?”

Y’all. She’s two. How can she be so smart and so empathetic to others around her already?
I didn’t know how to respond as she caught me off guard, so I asked her the question back.

“Yes, I miss Daddy. And Mommy.”

I told her that Mommy would be right back and then they were dropping me off at the hospital to be with Avery and Daddy was coming to see her.

toddler in car seat with green color

That Mommy and Daddy would be spending the day with her today and that excited her.

And then I told her,

“Yes, I miss my family.”

I miss the family we were before Avery’s diagnosis.

The family we’ve always been. Close.

We’ve always done everything together.

The pandemic only highlighted that fact. The 9 of us (pre-Avery), were always together.

Now, I spend half my time between home and the hospital/hotel/RMDH.

Nic is typically always at the hospital. And Chey spends about 85% of her time there.

Colby drives back and forth between home and Dallas to see me, bring things to us, or pick up Riley and I.

The other 4 at home don’t do as much of the back-and-forth, but they obviously notice and feel the difference.

Our “holidays” are scheduled around hospital days, Avi’s procedures and numbers, and, honestly, moods.

Balancing family and cancer isn’t easy. We’re doing it the best way we can to accommodate Chey and Nic first.

Emotionally, none of its easy. But, as a family, we got this.

Avery’s fight is OUR fight.

For Mother’s Day I asked for one thing. A pair of comfy slip-on shoes so I could stand for hours at the hospital with Avi.

new dr schools shoes for standing long hours beside baby's hospital bed (1)

So, Chey got me some Dr. Scholl’s.

I’m a very practical gift person because I don’t believe in frivolous spending. This is also one reason “gifts” are not my love language.

Colby got together with Chey and bought me a Mother’s Ring. Something I wanted for years, but stopped looking at after deciding they were too much.

And then it became, do I include the grandkids now? Do I wait and just get one for the grandkids years down the road?

Colby made that decision for me this Mother’s Day.

7-stone mothers ring from Zales

Now I can look down at the ring and see all 7 of the “babies” in my life and have my family close by, at least in some small way.

All that to say, yes, sweet Riley, I miss my family very much.

But I’m so very proud of how we’re walking this chapter of our lives together.

Being strong.

Holding each other up.

And loving one another through the hardest times.

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